It's my birthday and I'll blog if I want to...

Where to start? It has been awhile since I did a blog update and there are several things I want to write about (and clearly several things that all my many many reader want to read about).

But since I turned 30 yesterday, let's just talk about me.

Well, I'm 30. Officially.

For the last several years I have actually been blissfully unaware of how old I am. For some reason my age has been swallowed up in my mind by other important facts (like who just got eliminated from The Amazing Race, when our Bob The Builder DVDs need returned to the library, and how many pretzels the kids have consumed in the last 10 minutes while I was checking email).

So 30 really snuck up on me.

And when I realized it was there, I had a brief moment of panic.

Like how on earth am I 30? And after 30 years of life experience am I who I should be? And does this mean I have to stop dyeing my gray hair...am I that old?

I guess I thought (way back in the old days when I was in my teens and 20's) that when I was 30, I would have "arrived."

As if when I hit 30, I would morph into a woman with the mad cooking skills of Julia Child and the craftiness and decorating sense of Martha Stewart, all wrapped up with an enormous amount of wisdom and charm. And maybe I would be mildly famous for some (yet undiscovered) talent? (that one was a stretch even at 20).

But here I am at 30, and I am still just... me.

I'm not famous, I'm not particularly wise, I don't really know what I am doing with my kids most of the time (please don't tell them), I make mistakes, I cry easily and often, I worry about dumb things, I love my husband and then get aggravated at him for not putting his dishes in the dishwasher, I adore my children and then pray for them to sleep so that I can have some peace and quiet, I dye my hair and deal with "blemishes"--the adult form of adolescent zits, I mess up recipes and don't know the answers to many important questions (but incidentally, I do know that Ed is probably cheating on Jillian and TLC is suing Jon Gosselin and Whitney Houston looks much better since she got off drugs--so clearly not all of this life has been wasted).

Today we took our kids to a regional cross country race (don't worry, this really is going somewhere)--back to where I ran so many races in high school-- and there I was, next to all these runners doing what I used to do, being the age I used to be. And while they ran I explained the course to Cambel and carried Ada around to see who was in the lead (and I thanked God I did not have to strip down to a lightweight uniform and run until I felt like I was near death).

You might think with all my personal reflection lately that I would have felt nostalgic, maybe even sad. But I really wasn't. It suddenly didn't seem so bad to be where I am (for one, I was a lot warmer and less tired than those runners). I also had Kevin and Cambel and Ada and lots of years of life, which is a real gift. And even though these years may not have produced as much wisdom and maturity and cooking expertise that I would have liked, they have given me gifts that come only with time; good friends, a happy marriage, children, experiences that have made me who I am, a more mature relationship with God, many happy memories, and a full heart.

So I guess I'll take 30 if it means all that.

I read this yesterday and I think it sums all this crazy reflecting up quite well (which makes sense since it is the Bible)

"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup...the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance. You have made known to me the path of life, you fill me with joy in your presence." Psalm 16

Now that I am done with all my philosophizing about life and aging, I'll get back to what we are really all here for--my humor, wisdom, and perfect children (obviously).