Do you accept Mastercard?

The other day I decided it was time to potty train Ada. Not necessarily because she was giving us any of the "I'm ready to be potty-trained" signs (although we have seen a few rays of hope for a diaper free future), but mainly because I am sick of changing her diaper. Cambel potty trained early and long--meaning he got off to an early and promising start and then spent the next few months making me crazy. Since I clearly have a knack for intuitive parenting I decided to forge ahead with Ada and in my mind I thought we could lick this thing in a day. I had a vague idea of someone somewhere who maybe wrote a book about potty training in a day and I figured I didn't need to read their book because the idea was enough right? Just potty train them in a day. Clearly a failproof plan.

So off came the diaper, on came the timer and endless trips to the potty.

My persistence lagged after just a few hours and by the afternoon I had given up completely. Whoever wrote that book, if there is one, was crazy. I blame our failure entirely on them, and not on my lack of diligence, or Ada's complete lack of concern for the state of her diaper.

Our short stint in potty training did give me the opportunity however to make a fun Mastercard-ish list of the costs involved in this fruitless endeavor.

Total time engaged in attempting to potty train Ada: 4 hours

Trips to the potty: 5

Books read while sitting on the potty chair: 10

Times I reset the timer to 15 minutes: 6

Number of pep talks about how great being potty trained is: 15

Wet diapers: 3

Successful trips to the potty: 0

Time spent in a small bathroom with 2 preschoolers (one on the potty chair and one offering moral support): Priceless*

When they say "for everything else there's Mastercard, they probably weren't including potty training right? Because I would totally charge that if I could.

* I recognize that none of these times really add up...but the day was a blur and really who can be held accountable for their time when they spent most of it forcing their toddler to drink juice and then sit in the bathroom?