This could make the 6 o'clock news

This morning my friend called me to tell me that she had heard on the news that there would be an H1N1 vaccine clinic today in a nearby county. I have been trying to get the kids vaccinated for awhile with no luck, so this was good news--except that we were eating breakfast in our pajamas and the clinic had already started and we had at least a 40 minute drive. So I reacted as if they were giving out tickets to save you from the end of the world and started yelling directives, brushing my teeth, stuffing Ada's mouth with food and changing into clothes simultaneously. Several chaotic high-intensity moments later we were on our way wearing a random assortment of clothing and with disheveled hair.

When we arrived we huddled with the mass of humanity that was lined up all the way outside of the building. And there we waited, and waited, and waited. Luckily we were behind a young man with a killer mullet who was receiving what appeared to be very flirtatious attention from a much older woman who may or may not have been intoxicated (I'm going with "may"). But the longer I looked at them, the more I thought they looked alike which made me wonder if she was his mom, which of course takes their interaction to a whole new level of weirdness. And it still does nothing to explain the very intentional mullet.

At least my child wasn't screaming like a wounded animal while thrashing wildly in his stroller. No, my child waited to scream like that until he had seen the needle.

The news showed up to document the excitement of it all and that was great, since I looked so nice. I also happened to be sniffing Ada's diaper to confirm my suspicion that the horrid smell was coming from her and not the people in front of us when I realized they were taping. Hopefully they got that shot in the same frame as the mullett man because that could be the key to the 6 o'clock news ratings.

The newspaper was also there, but oddly enough they had sent a very dressed up and professional looking woman to sell us papers. Call me crazy, but a flu clinic seems like a strange place to hawk papers, especially if you are really dressed up. I felt bad for the woman, but then I remembered that I had just been sniffing a diaper--on the news.

At the end of the line where you entered the actual clinic it occurred to me that in an effort to save my children from H1N1, I had just brought them to a room full of crying snotty children---which seems like a great place to actually get something terrible.

After the shots I decided to test out the vaccine and take the kids grocery shopping. I don't think I need to tell you that this was not a pleasant experience, nor one of my brighter ideas.

I suppose though if it keeps the kids from getting very sick, it was all worth it. Especially if we end up on the news.